Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
