she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
