end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
