@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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