can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
