but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
