she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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