good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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