talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
