I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
