i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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