That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
