Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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