i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize