Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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