I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
