if only i could text you this smell
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
