Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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