Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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