It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
