I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
