Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize