We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
