He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
