The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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