im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
