In the future we'll all be gay
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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