we have officially lost it.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
