she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
