You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize