Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
