I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
