apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
