I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
