No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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