And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
