i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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