Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The air taste purple.
Randomize