oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
