You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
