Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
