woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
