i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
