I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize