Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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