apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
