The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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