just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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