He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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