Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
