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Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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