My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
