If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
