I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
