im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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