So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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