I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
