sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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