i can't believe i had my finger in that
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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