That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you win again, gameday.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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