And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
