Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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