Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
