Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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