At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
