I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
His nipple licking is glorious
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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