i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
