hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
