HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize